I've had a guilty conscience ever since. I was sitting in the waiting room during Tralee's speech therapy. Hunter was sleeping, so I took advantage of the time by flipping through a Bon Appetit magazine.
Oh. That recipe looks delish, but too much work to make.
Man. I really should have eaten a bigger lunch. This magazine is making me hungry.
OOOooooo!! Asian Shrimp, Pineapple, and Peanut Salad! That sounds wonderful! Let's read through the recipe to be sure. Lime juice (yum), fish sauce (I've always wanted to try and cook with fish sauce!!), olive oil (got it), sugar (got that too), shallots (easy), jalapeno (oh yeah), fresh mint leaves (never tried to cook with fresh mint leaves either), shrimp (yummy), pineapple (bring it), avocado (not my fave. . .but probably good with the rest of the ingredients), peanuts (I like it), and lime (I LOVE the flavor of lime juice). Oh wow! I've GOT to try this recipe! Hmmm. . . shoot. No pen to copy it down. Let me read through it again and see if I can remember everything. Are you kidding Leslie? You'll forget before you even turn the page. Maybe the receptionist will make a copy for me. Maybe I can offer her a quarter to make me a copy. But, what if she thinks I'm totally ridiculous and gets really annoyed at me? Hmmm. . . is it a ridiculous request? If she's a foodie, maybe she will understand. But what if she's not? Then I'll just feel stupid if she says no. Would it be totally horrible to rip out this recipe? Is it stealing? YES! The recipe doesn't belong to you. You can't rip it out. Then again, I've seen people walk out of here holding People magazine and US Weekly, and they CLEARLY aren't there's! I'm just talking about this one little recipe, and there's an ad on the other side of the page, so I won't be ruining an article for the next reader. Let's just see what happens if I rip it a little bit.
Oh Leslie. Stop! This isn't right!!
I REALLY want to try this recipe, and I can't go up to the receptionist now and ask her to make a copy, she'll see that I've already started ripping it, and then she'll know what I am. . . A RECIPE THIEF!!!!
TEAR. pause. TEAR. pause. TEAR. . .
. . . and we're done. I wonder if that lady sitting over there noticed my indiscretion? Just in case, I'm going to fold up this recipe really quietly and tuck it away. Now I feel guilty. Maybe I should put it back. No. NO. The deed is done.
And that's my lurid story of stealing!!!! I walked right out of the therapy building with stolen recipe! Now everyone knows. . . I'm not perfect.
Hello. My name is Leslie, and I'm a recipe thief. I'm planing on returning the recipe to Bon Appetit magazine on Wednesday . . . but not before I copy it down, and cook it on Tuesday night for dinner. I'm even feeling the need to take some of my own old magazines down there as an act of penance. I mean, most of the magazines there are Newsweek (I've flipped through them, but it's not really up my ally. I'm not sophisticated or politically savvy enough to really enjoy it), a butt-load of hunting magazines (uh. . . not my thang), and like I mentioned the People magazines and Us Weeklys are usually already being read or are MIA. I have some Country Living, BHG, and Ladies Home Journal magazines that I don't need anymore. I'm thinking of sprucing up the selection in the therapy waiting room. Mostly to ease my conscience.
And just in case any of you find yourself in a waiting room, with page 55 of last month's Bon Appetit staring up at you, whispering for you to rip it out and take it home with you, DON'T DO IT! I'll share my tainted spoils with you below:
Asian Shrimp, Pineapple, and Peanut Salad
2 TBS fresh lime juice
2 TBS fish sauce
2 TBS olive oil
1 TBS sugar
1/2 cup thinly sliced shallots
1 small jalapeno chili, thinly sliced
3 TBS (packed) fresh mint leaves
16 peeled diveined cooked large shrimp with tails intact
6 ounces fresh pineapple, peeled, cut into 2x 1/4-inch spears (about 1 1/4 cups)
1 large avocado, halved, pitted, peeled, coarsely chopped
2 TBS salted peanuts
1 lime, cut into 8 wedges (for garnish)
DRESSING: Whisk lime juice, fish sauce, oil, and sugar in small bowl until sugar dissolves. Stir in shallots, chile, and mint.
SALAD: Toss shrimp with salt and pepper in bowl. Add pineapple, avocado, and dressing; toss to coat. Divide among plates, top with nuts, and garnish with lime wedges.
Seriously. . . karma is on my mind now. Maybe one day I'll be sitting in a waiting room, reading a mind-boggling article when I turn the page only to see that the next one has been ripped out. I guess I'll deserve it. Or maybe my payback will be that after all this, the recipe won't turn out. That'll be a bummer. . . but we're still gonna go for it tomorrow night.