Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Airhead

I'm an airhead! This is not the first time I've come to this realization. In fact, when I was in sixth grade I lip sang to the song "I'm too Ditzy" sung to the tune of "I'm too Sexy" for a music class talent show. My peers found it hilarious, I was just being me.



Not too long after Jim and I were married we got a nice camcorder from my parents as a Christmas present. We used it on Christmas morning at Jim's sisters house, it worked great! After the excitement of opening presents subsided, everyone in our party decided to go ice skating. We packed up our snow clothes, ice skates, and sledding gear, and headed outside for some winterly fun. I wanted to bring our nice new camcorder, so I grabbed it as I was heading out the door, along with my other snow gear. Jim and I walked to the car with some of our nieces, and I set some stuff on top of the car, so we could strap in the little girls, and pack in the rest of our gear. Then we were off! Everyone was happy and things were going great until cars passing us started honking and waving at us. "That's odd!" I thought. Then I heard the "CLUNK. CLUNK." Which made me realize I forgot to grab our nice new camcorder from on top of the car. "THE CAMCORDER!" I screamed. Jim pulled over, and I quickly got out to survey the damage. Luckily for me the camara was in its protective case, but while tumbling off the top of our car it fell out. Still, there was only minor damage done to it. The major damage was done to my ego as I sheepishly got back in the car to have my, not-so-pleased husband exasperate to me, and everyone else, the fact that I was an airhead.

A few years after this incident I was filling my car up with gas, while talking to my mother on my cell phone. (I know I know, you're not supposed to talk and gas up at the same time.) After the fueling was finished I climbed back into the car, still talking to my mother, and happily drove off. Then I heard it, the all to familiar "CLUNK. CLUNK." I looked in my rear-view mirror to see my wallet in the middle of the fairly busy road. You may think this is bad enough, but it gets SO MUCH worse! I pulled over, told my mom I had to go, and ran backwards to retrieve my wallet that had opened and cards and receipts were surrounding it. I gathered the remnants I could, all the while checking to make sure an on coming car wasn't going to smack into me, then I stood up and turned back towards my car. . . only to see it rolling away!!! "CRAP!!!" I thought. "I left my manual car in neutral!" And wouldn't you know it, I was just lucky enough to park on a slight downward slope. It was going on a joyride all by itself. It had rolled off the side of the road, rolled past both lanes, and was heading towards the suicide lane. The next lane after that was oncoming traffic! I took off towards the car, completely forgetting about the traffic behind me. I was only thinking of getting to the car before it rolled into on-coming traffic. . . which it was!!! I must have had an adrenaline rush, because I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. I made it to the car just as it was about to leave the suicide lane and crash into a burgundy Cadillac that a confused old lady was driving. At this point I still didn't realize there were cars behind me witnessing the most recklessly embarrassing event of my life. I quickly started my car, regained whatever composure I could, and slowly continued to my destination. I drove slowly to give all the cars that witnessed this event a chance to pass me, and because I was shaking so badly from the adrenaline rush I didn't dare drive any faster than necessary. I call this moment my "Mission Impossible for the Blond."

Today I had another airhead moment that brought these other two moments flooding back into my memory. Tralee and I were heading towards the bank when I heard, you guessed it, "CLUNK. CLUNK." I wasn't all that surprised when I looked in my rear-view mirror to see a book laying in the middle of the road. You might think that for a silly book, I would just leave it. However, it was an art book I found while digging through the garage yesterday. I set it on the roof of my car thinking it would be fun to look at the pictures with Tralee. Obviously I forgot I had set it there. Anyways, I like books and I like art. I like them so much that I decided to turn around and retrieve the book I had forgot about. It took a minute for me to find a place I could safely park and quickly retrieve my book. I found it just in time for a big ol' truck to run over my art book, and tear it apart. A few pages of art went sailing off in the wind, but I retrieved most of the book and although it's torn apart, the pictures still look nice. So, I think I'll save what's left of the book to do crafts with Tralee when she's older. Until then we can still look at the pictures of art.

So, you see, I'm an airhead! For those of you who are thinking of calling Child Protective Services in fear that I'll place Tralee on top of the car and drive off, don't worry. When it comes to Tralee I'm extremely cautious. In fact, I think I'm so totally obsessed with Tralee's safety that Jim often accuses me of "hovering." However when it comes to possessions. . . well lets just say books, wallets, and camcorders better watch out! Also, if you have an extremely rare or valuable possession, I'm not to be trusted with it. Let's just leave it at that!

4 comments:

Boom said...

Leslie, I was in histarics reading this. Please be more careful with your life, you are more precious than any possession to all of us!

Jim is almost as great as you with the poems. I think you should write one for him belatedly!

Lots of Love, Mom

Jim said...

Leslie,

Please, please, please, please, don't place Tralee's car seat (with her in it) on top f the car, even if you are cautious. I'm just getting over the Costco incident.

By the way, your picture on this post looks like one of the ten most wanted at the post office. You could pass for Bonnie of the infamous Bonnie and Clyde fame.

Love Ya

Dad

The Jacobs Journal said...

I was just joking when I said that whole drive off with Tralee thing. I've never set her on top of the car. Nana had to call and lecture me about not setting things on top of the car, and not EVER setting Tralee on top of the car. Honestly, I'm not THAT air headed! I've never set nor will I place Tralee, or any other child on my car. Just so that's clear. I've had a few air headed moments, but mainly with objects.

Meagan said...

Your family is the greatest! I love this post. I remember when you sang the I'm too ditzy song. I don't know why we saw you do it, but it was so fun. You were always such a fun cousin, and we loved seeing you. Thanks for giving me a laugh, and I'm not worried about you leaving Tralee on your car.