Bowling Night = $320 Richer Night

So, last night was bowling league night. When we got to the bowling ally we were placed against a team that I can only describe as large, smelly, Amish looking, hillbillies. They smelled like they didn't have running water at Grandpa Remus's farm. There was a old lady that the son's called Mother, a Father, and two boys. Only the boys were grown men with Amish looking beards, home-made jeans that were being held up with suspenders, and American Flag bowling balls-- not to mention their bellies hung to their knees. The father looked like an older version of the sons, but he had thick glasses on, wild greasy hair, and a hat that looked like Jed Clampit's. Mother was fashioned in moss colored polyester pants, with a matching sweatshirt that had a picture of an American Eagle on it. Mother bowled in slow motion. In fact, she did EVERYTHING in slow motion, and hardly cracked a smile. However, she bowled great! Strike after strike after strike--it just took ten minutes for the ball to get down the lane. The other guys took bowling WAY too seriously. If they got a strike it was like watching a human jell-o mold as they jumped around and pumped their fists. If they didn't bowl so great, they smacked the air like they were hitting Osama Bin Laden, and the jell-o would wiggle with that movement too. Jim, our teammate Billy, Tralee, and I all stayed behind them up by the table when we weren't bowling because not-to-be too terribly rude, but it REALLY stunk down by the lanes.

So, we started out not bowling so great. I blame the distraction of the Clampit family. Every time I got a split or not a strike, the Clampits all went "Oh that was horrible!!" and shook their heads in dismay. Thanks guys. It was an experience. We were actually quite amused, and couldn't really believe this was reality. We thought someone would come out and announce we were on a hidden camera show.

However, the bowling ally does this jackpot thing for bowling league night. Everyone can buy raffle tickets and if your number is called you have one chance to get a strike, and if you get a strike you win the pot. Nobody won the pot for three weeks so it was up to $320!! Wouldn't you know it, they called Jim's ticket number! Well, there's one thing I know for sure, Jim performs GREAT under pressure! So, I hand in his ticket, and all eyes are on Jim, they guy who at the last bowling league night bowled a 243! I watch him and sure enough . . . STRIKE!!! YAY, we win the pot!!! So, after that boost of energy our team started bowling AMAZING! I even bowled great for me! We beat the Clampits and had a great time!

Bowling League Night was a success! Tralee even behaved remarkably well.